Why I Can't Get A Massage
I've never had a massage. It's not something that I'm really missing, but I've been told it's a wonderful experience and that I really must try it some time. I'd like to give it a try, but never seem to get around to it.
Last weekend, we went away for a short trip and stayed in a resort hotel with a semi-famous spa attached. As I flipped through the 'menu' of 'treatments' available to me, it became clear that I would not be getting a massage. My reason? Reason.
I'm perfectly willing to believe that having someone pound me on the back for a half hour is somehow going to feel good. But seriously: Aromatherapy? Reiki? Reflexology? Again, I'm absolutely willing to believe that 25 minutes of foot massage is going to ultimately feel good enough to be worth $60, but why do they have to dress it up as if it were some sort of mystical experience? "A non-invasive method of working the pressure points on feed and/or hands that reflect all points of the body. Excellent to release stress and restore harmony." Non-invasive? Does that mean they have invasive massage?
Reiki. The National Council Against Health Fraud has this to say:
There is no evidence that clinical Reiki's effects are due to anything other than suggestion, or that they are superior to massage or any other healing ritual. Reiki's metaphysical beliefs may be in conflict with an individual patient's religious beliefs. Full disclosure of the belief system should precede its use in any setting. An investigation of proponent literature casts serious doubt as to whether Reiki practitioners can be trusted with such full disclosure. Reiki literature presents misinformation as fact, and instructs practitioners on how to skirt the law in order to protect themselves from regulation and accountability.
Of course, the spa isn't claiming to heal anything, just to release stress and restore harmony, whatever the hell that means. Who knows, the people who administer these treatments might even believe that they work better than a run-of-the-mill massage, which would make them simply deluded instead of fraudulent. Still, I'm not about to offer up my own coin to a company connected with that kind of quackery. I guess I'll keep looking.
Last weekend, we went away for a short trip and stayed in a resort hotel with a semi-famous spa attached. As I flipped through the 'menu' of 'treatments' available to me, it became clear that I would not be getting a massage. My reason? Reason.
I'm perfectly willing to believe that having someone pound me on the back for a half hour is somehow going to feel good. But seriously: Aromatherapy? Reiki? Reflexology? Again, I'm absolutely willing to believe that 25 minutes of foot massage is going to ultimately feel good enough to be worth $60, but why do they have to dress it up as if it were some sort of mystical experience? "A non-invasive method of working the pressure points on feed and/or hands that reflect all points of the body. Excellent to release stress and restore harmony." Non-invasive? Does that mean they have invasive massage?
Reiki. The National Council Against Health Fraud has this to say:
There is no evidence that clinical Reiki's effects are due to anything other than suggestion, or that they are superior to massage or any other healing ritual. Reiki's metaphysical beliefs may be in conflict with an individual patient's religious beliefs. Full disclosure of the belief system should precede its use in any setting. An investigation of proponent literature casts serious doubt as to whether Reiki practitioners can be trusted with such full disclosure. Reiki literature presents misinformation as fact, and instructs practitioners on how to skirt the law in order to protect themselves from regulation and accountability.
Of course, the spa isn't claiming to heal anything, just to release stress and restore harmony, whatever the hell that means. Who knows, the people who administer these treatments might even believe that they work better than a run-of-the-mill massage, which would make them simply deluded instead of fraudulent. Still, I'm not about to offer up my own coin to a company connected with that kind of quackery. I guess I'll keep looking.
posted by Brent at 1:30 PM
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